


Secrets and Lies

by idrilsdarkwritings (idrilhadhafang)



Series: Destiny’s Pathways [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ableism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Dark, Backstory, Creepy Fluff, Dark, Dark Leia Organa, Dark fluff, Death of Shara Bey, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Evil Snoke, Face Slapping, Force Lightning, Force-Sensitive Leia Organa, Force-Sensitive Poe Dameron, Gen, Implied Mind Rape, Leia Organa Deserves Better, Mind Rape, Past Leia Organa/Han Solo, Protective Poe Dameron, Senator Leia Organa, Threats, Torture, Young Poe Dameron, and Snoke as the man behind her, it’s brief but just a warning, think kind of like a sympathetic female Palpatine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-06 13:44:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17940821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilsdarkwritings
Summary: In a galaxy where Snoke got to Leia Organa first, Leia sets her sights on a potential apprentice and right hand man.





	1. Secrets Have Their Power

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Let’s say I decided to write some backstory for an idea of Supreme Leader/Empress Leia and her right hand man Poe. 
> 
> I will say this Leia is different than some of my other Leias. She genuinely does care for Poe in her own twisted way. At the same time, there is an undercurrent of manipulation, so it is pretty creepy.

_You wish to take an apprentice so early?_

As far as Leia knows, after Endor, she and that voice in her mind are one and the same. The voice...she can’t say anything about the voice. Hearing voices is considered a bad sign, after all. 

Leia nods. Then, “I know I’m not technically finished, but...”

_It’s more than a desire to have an apprentice, isn’t it?_ A beat.  _You want a son._

Leia nods. After her husband — her traitorous husband — left with Ben for parts unknown (and stars knows that she’s still searching for them both), she’s felt the absence that both of them have left. She misses them, even while she hates Han too. 

_Ah. Of course you do._

Leia can’t help but think of Poe Dameron. Small Poe Dameron, who’s only just turned seven years old. Seven years old, and with the Force in him. Seven years old and wanting to be a pilot like his Mama. 

“Poe...needs a teacher.” Shara Bey is feeding him too many lies. Leia supposes that she can’t blame her; after all, she felt the same before the Voice told her the truth. “I can teach him.”

_Can you finish what you started?_

“I can.”

_Good. And observe him well — one may have to kill the other at one point. Such is the way of the Dark Side._

The Voice’s presence fades from Leia’s head almost like a hologram ending, and she is left with a newfound sense of resolve. 

Poe deserves the truth. She’ll have to hide it from Kes and Shara — and she can’t help but feel at least some guilt — but it will be well-worth saving a child from obvious indoctrination. 

***

Visiting the Damerons’ house afterwards is almost like putting on a show, playing a part. She has to play her part well, of course — if they find out about the Voice...

(The Voice has never told her his name, of course. It’s one of those instances where it’s mostly flashes of memory over that link, as well as guidance and orders. All while she plays the part of Senator, naturally)

Poe, now seven, practically sprints at her, beaming. “Leia! Leia!” He’s holding up a drawing of a ship. “Look what I drew!”

It’s a very well-done ship, for a seven-year-old. The shape of the wings, and its underbelly, its shading — it’s an A-wing, actually. Flying among the stars. Leia almost wishes that she could leave Poe to his life, but she knows that she can’t. He’s meant for greater things, after all. 

Leia squats next to Poe. “It’s a beautiful drawing, Poe,” she says. “Is that your mama’s ship?”

Poe grins. “Yeah! I wanna be a pilot like her.”

Poe’s said this before. Leia still feels a tug of affection towards him. She smiles fondly at Poe. “You’ll be a wonderful pilot, Poe. I can definitely imagine you defending the skies.”

Poe’s grin could light up a whole room. 

“You know,” Leia says, keeping her voice low, almost like they’re sharing a secret between them, “You could also become a Jedi someday.”

A furrow appears between Poe’s brown eyes. “But I’m not even Force Sens-i-tive.” Poe was seven, but he did occasionally stumble over more “adult” words. 

“The Force is in everyone. Including you.”

”What’s it like?” Poe says. 

Leia pauses. Most of her training took place under the Voice — honing skills that she had never been taught before, at least not by Luke or anyone but the Voice. 

“It’s exhilarating,” she says. “It makes you feel powerful, strong. Like anything is possible. Here...I can show you, if you want.”

Poe nods, excitedly. 

Leia can’t show him any of her Dark Side tricks, naturally. She can’t risk scaring Poe, not only for practical reasons, but...something else. 

Something she can’t mention out loud to either the Voice or herself. 

So she shows him how to lift a pebble. How to juggle pebbles. And seeing Poe’s reaction, his exclamation of glee, it’s more than worth it. 

“That was so cool!” Poe says. “Can you teach me?”

”Of course, Poe. But keep it a secret. Our secret.” Leia winks at him. “Secrets lose all their power when they’re told, after all.”

 


	2. Needing a Teacher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia teaches Poe a bit of self-defense, and more about history and the Force.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Poe is still seven when Leia teaches him the ways of the Force. When he greets Leia on one of her visits, he’s got cuts and bruises on his body. He looks like he got into some sort of physical fight. 

“Poe,” Leia says. “What happened?”

”I had a bad day at school.” Poe says. His lip wobbles a little bit, and those almost kath hound puppy eyes are filling with tears. 

“Want to talk about it?” Leia says. “I heard that talking about it helps.”

”I got in a fight.” Poe looks guilty even as he speaks. 

“About what?”

”They made fun of Mama. And Papa. I shouldn’t have, but — ”

”It’s understandable,” Leia says. 

“Really?”

”They’re your parents,” Leia says. “Of course you want to defend them. The key is that you do it in more subtle ways. The Force allows for all kinds of these benefits, after all. Subtlety can be one of its many benefits.” A beat. “Just don’t tell your mama or your papa.”

Poe nods. He’s curious, trusting, in a way that only a seven year old can be. Leia knows that she’d tear the galaxy down to keep him safe. From bullies, from anyone, actually. 

“Now,” Leia said, “It’s like this...” 

***

She teaches Poe. She shows him how to use the Force, how to keep it a secret. Others will notice, after all. Others will see. Others will realize that Poe’s being trained in at least something that he probably shouldn’t be trained in. 

She isn’t going to send him to Luke. Luke would most likely indoctrinate him, talk about how the Dark Side is evil, when if anything, Leia’s had her eyes opened to how much the Jedi have done wrong. What happened to her biological father, everything. She tells Poe about it — as much as a seven year old can handle, at least. 

“Why did he do it?” Poe says. “Obi-Wan, that is.”

Leia shakes her head. “I think only Obi-Wan knows that.”

He listens to her, fascinated all the while, and if the bullies mysteriously trip over themselves...well, Leia’s doing something right. She’s teaching a little boy how to defend himself, and that’s something. 

She can only hope that her teachings pay off. 

***

”I wanna be like you and Mama when I grow up.”

Poe says that one day, and Leia’s heart can’t help but break. After all, she’s not exactly the most well-adjusted of people. After all, she has problems of her own. 

“I have no doubt you’ll be extraordinary,” Leia says. “You’ve been learning quickly.”

”Really?” Poe sounds delighted. 

“Yes,” Leia says. “Really.” She smiles fondly at him. “You’re strong. I can’t see as others do, but I know you have a lot of potential." She pats his head fondly. “And, of course, you are a very sweet child.”

Poe wrinkles his nose a bit, smiles. Leia knows that she’d kill the galaxy to save him, every time. 

 


	3. Luminous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shara’s funeral is held.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Shara dies when Poe is eight. Leia doesn’t have anything to do with it; it’s one of those instances that’s random, unfortunate, and something Leia doubts she could have arranged. After all, Shara was her friend as much as anything, and in another life, she could see them as allies — if Shara ever agreed to such a thing. 

(She can’t picture it, though.) 

The funeral is when Leia gets a chance to talk to Poe. He’s standing by his father’s side, blinking away tears — and Leia knows what she must do. 

 “How are you feeling?” she says. 

Poe sniffles. “Okay.” Leia can already sense that he’s not really okay, not at all. Kes steps in to explain that he’s been having nightmares, and Leia’s heart aches for him. 

 Then, “Will Mama come back in the Force?” Poe says, hopefully. 

Leia pauses. It’s one of the things that strikes her as unfair about the Force — about the Light, from what the Voice has told her. When non-Force-Sensitive people die, they’re simply bodies. Only the Force Sensitive people, the “good” Force Sensitive people, get some semblance of an afterlife. It’s all playing favorites. Like the Force only belongs to the Jedi. Like only they get all these wonderful gifts. 

It’s vanity, is what it is. 

“Well,” she says. “I have faith that your mama is still looking after you. Force or no. It’s what people like your mama do.”

She squats to Poe’s level. He looks her in the eye. She continues. “And we’ll remember her. As long as the stars shine, she’ll be remembered. You can honor her by becoming a pilot. It’s what she would have wanted most for you.”

Poe nods. His tears are alleviating a bit. Leia pats his head. Of course, she has to be dragged off to the side for an interview, but she promises Poe she’ll be back.

***

_Not what I would have done, but nicely done nonetheless._

Leia is in her apartment, long after the funeral. The Voice speaks to her in that moment, and she feels chills go up her spine at the implications that it’s providing. 

“What should I have done?” she says. “I couldn’t just exploit his mother’s death. It would be cruel.”

_Cruel is what we must do._

“It doesn’t have to be,” Leia says. “He’s but a child. Surely there are other ways — ”

Exploding, white-hot pain goes through her head. All the while, she can feel the Voice’s fury. _Do you care for him, like your son?_

“What of it?” Leia says. Already, she feels the same, seething anger in her she felt when she had to wear that slave girl bikini, chained up to a Hutt. That anger that finally came out when she strangled Jabba. She wonders if she can reach out to where the Voice is and just yank that chain again —

The Voice continues. _That child is your weakness. If not for the fact that he is of use to us, I would discard him._

“He’s getting stronger,” Leia says. “He’s not old enough yet, but...when he’s old enough, I’ll take him to you.”

_And we shall see._

The Voice vanishes, and Leia rubs her temples. The Voice’s wrath has been bad before. This is the first time she’s wanted to kill him. 

Would Poe be safe, if she did discard him? Cast him to the side like he was nothing? The problem is, he’s not...nothing, for lack of a better word. Not to her. He’s everything. 

She has a feeling he’ll continue to be.


	4. The New Recruit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe signs up for the Academy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Ten years pass, and Poe goes from a child dreaming of flying to a frankly, Leia thinks, very attractive, charming young man of eighteen, with thick, curly black hair and the sort of angelic face that would win over just about anyone. His easy smile, his dark, expressive eyes and generally sweet, endearing face — anyone would be blessed to have his attentions. Leia’s feelings towards him are mostly still seeing him as that sweet child dreaming of flying, though. Just grown-up. 

There’s a lot she’s told him over the years. She hasn’t done anything to taint Shara’s memory — she’s not cruel. She’s only told him the truth. Told him about how fundamentally corrupt the Republic is. About how even after so many years after the Galactic Civil War, nothing’s changed.

The Voice told her as much. She can’t disagree with him on that.

It’s one day when she’s visiting Yavin that she manages to talk to him. He wants so many things — to be like Shara, to be like her — and Leia says, “It’s ultimately up to you, isn’t it? If you want to dip your toes in politics, though, I’d say you’d have to be incredibly strong...”

Poe pauses, clearly thinking about it, all of it. Then, half-jokingly, half-despairingly, “Can’t I be all three? Like you, and like Mama?”

”Well, I doubt that’s possible, juggling all three of these jobs.”

”I can try,” Poe says. “I mean, if I could...I’d be like both of you.”

Leia can’t help but feel her heart break. He’s too innocent. If, when, he falls into her master’s hands, her master would likely break him, mind and body. He wouldn’t be Poe anymore, but a shell of a being. 

“I have no doubt you will,” she says. “And I’ll be right behind you.”

She can’t help but wonder, when she’s alone except for the Voice in her head, if Poe would still love her, worship her, if he knew what she’d done. Perhaps he still would. Perhaps he wouldn’t. 

She doesn’t know. 

***

Poe can’t help but deliberate on the benefits of each job. Being in the Senate would give him the opportunity to make things better. But would it? Leia’s been trying, and it’s been almost like trudging uphill in quicksand. Bickering Senators, bureaucracy, and plenty more. 

A pilot — well, he wants to do it, and besides, it will give him plenty of opportunities to search for threats beyond the galaxy and deal with them. He has a feeling he could be happier with flightsuits than Senatorial robes, really. Happier with droids than aides. Things like that. He can still meet with Leia when he can, maybe over holocomm, and...yeah. Everything will be all right.

Everything. 

He contacts Leia later that night, telling her about his decision. “I’ll apply for the Academy tomorrow,” he says. “I’ll definitely tell you how it goes.”

Leia nods, then she smiles. “I’ll be proud of you no matter what path you choose, Poe. I know that much.”

***

Poe goes through the interview process, naturally. He tells the interviewer how old he is (eighteen), how much flying experience he’s had (practicing with his mother, primarily, as a child), and more. He talks about why he wants to join the Republic fleet, and it’s later that he contacts Leia to tell her how exactly the interview went. 

“They wanted to know the basics,” Poe said. “What my experience was, what my age was, things like that.” He sighs. “I just hope I get in.”

Leia smiles reassuringly at him. “Whether or not you do, you have my full support.”

Poe can’t say he objects to that. 


	5. Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia and Poe meet after one of Leia’s rough days in the Senate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.
> 
> Author's Notes: Leoba made this beautiful moodboard for me that really sums up the story. Thank you so much!

\-----------------------

 When Poe calls up Leia to tell her that he’s gotten into the flight Academy, the first thing that he notices is that she’s gripping and rubbing her temples. It looks, almost, like she has a headache of some sort. 

It’s not implausible if she does, of course. Probably a hard day in the Senate, Poe can’t help but think. If he had a job like that, he’d probably have his share of headaches too. 

“Hard day?” he finally says. 

“You could say that,” Leia says, with a wry smile. Then, “How are you? Did you get accepted?”

”I did,” Poe says. He wants to get excited, psyched even, but it’s unfair to get that way when Leia’s suffering. It would be outright gloating, and Poe doesn’t want to do something like that. 

Leia smiles, genuinely this time — or as genuinely as she can, really, considering that she’s got a headache. “Congratulations, Poe. I think you’re going to do beautifully.”

The way she says it, Poe can believe it. He wants to do beautifully, of course, he wants to do what he can to defend the Republic — to defend her. He wants to do all this and more, and that’s exactly what he’ll do. 

“I hope so.” he says. 

“Of course you will.” Leia says. “I know it.”

Poe can’t help but feel a certain warmth go through him. He shouldn’t feel this good, this validated, by Leia’s praise, and yet he can’t help but worship her, adore her, look up to her more than she could ever really know. 

“How are you?” he finally says. “I mean, when I first checked in — ”

”I’m all right. Just...headaches.” Leia gives him a long-suffering smile. “Nothing, unfortunatelÿ, out of the ordinary.”

”I wish there was something I could do.” 

He knows he would do whatever he could for her. Just to make things easier somehow. 

“You’re very kind, Poe,” Leia says. “Though I don’t know if there’s much you can do. Just being there is enough.”

”Then I’ll be there however I can.”

They continue to talk, of course. Talk about how, exactly, Leia’s day in the Senate went. Poe almost wishes that he had chosen to be her protégé in the Senate just to help her out. Lighten the load a bit. Of course, he doesn’t know how much he really can do. But he can try.

Stars willing, he can try.

***

Leia can’t help but reflect on Poe’s words when he hangs up. One of them being how he’d be there, however he could.

 _Will he, really?_ She can remember some of the things that she’s done under her master. Mostly a lot of manipulation. She hasn’t killed directly. But she’s still gotten ruthless, and now...now she’s manipulating Poe inevitably, into her master’s lair. 

Wherever her master may be. He hasn’t even told her his name. Or anything about him. It’s mostly been evil and commands and darkness. 

_You think that man can save you?_

He’s there. She knows it. The Voice continues. _He’d never trust or care for you again if he knew what you’d done in my name. He’d hate you, and you’d deserve it. Every last part._

Leia supposes she can’t hate him. Not when what he says is true. Poe has a sort of guileless adoration for her that breaks her heart at times, but it won’t last. 

Or will it? She supposes that when she does tell him the truth, she’ll tell it in pieces. Show him in pieces.

From there, he can make up his own mind.

From there, he can understand.

She can hope, at least.

 

 

 


	6. Her Better Part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get pretty bad for Leia even as Poe trains.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Warning for Snoke being an ableist monster here. Let’s say I don’t hate the mentally ill — I’m mentally ill myself. I chose that moment to illustrate how evil Snoke is and how he’s trying to isolate Leia from people who are concerned about her (e.g. Korr Sella, Poe, etc.).

It’s the next day that Leia feels the old familiar stabbing in her head that suggests that the Voice has returned. “I don’t want to do this right now,” she finally says.

_I doubt I care what you want._

”I thought as much,” Leia says, turning over on her side. She wishes that there was a way to all but banish the Voice from her mind. 

_You’re going to have to give him to me eventually._

“I know.” Leia sighs. Today is Poe’s training. They’re not sending him out on a mission yet, but it’s guaranteed they’re going to be investigating disturbances out in the galaxy. Perhaps it can lead them to her master...and she can learn who’s been repeatedly invading her mind. “But not yet. Let him be...untainted for as long as possible.”

_You mean weak._

Leia grits her teeth. 

_Did you know, Senator, that the Jedi took children as young as infancy? Surely giving a grown man to me isn’t that big of a request._

“He’s not fully trained.”

A scoff.  _Then we will complete his training, together._

Leia feels sick at the thought of collaborating with the Voice. “I’ll train him.”

“Senator Organa?” 

 Korr Sella. The younger woman heads over towards her. “Are you okay?”

”I am, Korrie. Just...practicing for the next meeting.” She doesn’t tell Korrie the truth. 

 _You think your friend Korrie will believe you?_ the Voice taunts.  _She’d think you’re crazy. Your darling husband already thinks you are._

Leia has to fight to keep a sabaac face. Of course Han hates her and thinks she’s crazy. Crazy. What a kriffing isolating word. She can’t help but hate it. 

“All right.” Korr says. “Just...you’ve got good friends in the Senate. People who support you. Don’t forget that.”

Leia just wonders if Korrie will still follow her when she finds out the truth. 

***

All in all, Poe would say that he had a pretty good day. Training’s underway, he’s met his squadmates (including Jessika Pava), he’s doing well in his various classes...he’s kind of on a roll, actually. 

The day ends, as usual, when Poe contacts Leia and sees her face, weary and worn-looking, though she tries to smile when she sees Poe. She still looks radiant, even tired. 

“Are you okay?” Poe says. He doesn’t comment on her looking tired. He’s been told that it’s rude to comment on that — particularly to women. 

“Fine, Poe.” Except she doesn’t look fine. It’s like something’s draining her. “I had a long day, but it’s over now. That’s what matters.”

”That’s good, at least.” He wishes there was a diplomatic way to not notice the fact she looks like she was made to cry — and he wonders what could have made Leia Organa cry, or who. He wishes he could say something to make it okay — and probably shout down whoever made her cry. He loves her — not romantically, not sexually, but the sort of devotion where he swears he’ll tear down anything that makes her cry.

Maybe that’s what everyone needs. Someone to fight their monsters.

”You look...” Poe sighs. He feels like he’s choosing from a thesaurus. “Like someone really hurt you.”

”No one hurt me. I just had a stressful day.”

Something doesn’t feel right to Poe. “I can help.”

Leia smiles warmly. “You have a lot of compassion in you, Poe. Probably too much. But a stressful day is just a minor bump in the road when it comes to keeping the galaxy stable.”

”Maybe I can distract you?”

 “I would welcome any distraction you have,” Leia says. “How’s your training?”

Poe tells her. Tells her everything he can. Tells her about his squadmates, who he’s met. Tells her about some of the skills he’s learning. Shares a story or two that is worth it when she actually chuckles through her reddened eyes.

He’d do it again and again just to make her laugh, and just to make her proud. 

***

 Poe signs off, and Leia is alone with her own thoughts. 

She hasn’t told him about the Voice. How he said things and showed her things that drove her to tears — which is no easy feat. She managed to take just about almost everything (except Luke leaving on Endor) without whimpering. Even being tortured. But this...

Poe wants to save her. But he’s so innocent, so sheltered. So used to seeing the beauty in people like rare gems. Could he possibly understand half of what Leia’s done, half of what the Voice has done? Everything done in the name of making the galaxy orderly?

She loves him. Not in the way she did Han, but in the way that she would kill for him. She loves this rarity more than he can understand, more than he can know, and he’s Light while...she hasn’t been Light since the Voice first came to her. 

She’ll bring him to the Voice. But only so he can understand, only so he can see the truth. How broken the galaxy is, how fractured. The Voice showed her its ugliness, and she knows that she needs to turn it to beauty...and order.

Poe will join her. And from there, imagine what they could do together. 


	7. Bond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe turns nineteen and prepares for his first mission. Meanwhile, things get worse for Leia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Warning for emotional/psychological abuse and disturbing imagery.

Months pass. Poe trains — in both the matter of flying and some of the Force powers that Leia’s willing to teach him, and he turns nineteen. Nineteen is one of those ages where you realize that you’re on your way — you’re getting older and there is no stopping it. Snap tries to comfort him. “If you think nineteen’s somehow old, you’re missing out on a lot,” he says. “You really are.”

The others try to make his Naming Day a good one too. Watching holos, for example. They can’t go out to drink to celebrate yet — Poe’s two years away from being taken seriously enough for that — but they can at least have a lot of fun. Watching good holos, chatting with other people, things of that nature, at least before he decides to report in to Leia.

Leia’s the one who calls him up this time, though. She’s looking a little bit better — Poe can’t really put his finger on it, but she does. “Happy Naming Day, Poe. I’m so proud of you.”

”Well, thanks.” Poe grins. “I mean, I haven’t really done anything yet to be proud of — ”

”Don’t be absurd. You’re getting older. You’re progressing. That’s something to be proud of.”

”I guess.” Poe sighs. “I just realized I won’t be a teenager anymore.” A grin. “Which is good. Probably gave poor Dad grief when I was a teenager...”

Leia, stars bless her, laughs. Poe would do anything to draw that sound from her. Poe smiles at her. “How’s Dad doing?”

”Good as far as I’ve talked to him,” Leia says. 

“Good.” Poe sighs. “I do miss you, Leia. Dad too.”

Leia smiles faintly. “I know. Did you do something special for today?”

Poe nods. “We did.” Then, “Leia...there’s actually a question I want to ask you.”

”Anything.”

”Well, some people think I’m weird because of the whole Force thing.”

”Tell me who they are so I can bite their heads off." Leia’s voice is light, but Poe knows that she could get protective of him in a heartbeat. They both will, for each other. 

“Well, don’t go too far,” Poe jokes. 

“No such thing, I think.” Leia’s voice becomes more earnest. “There’s nothing wrong with us and what we’re doing. And if you’re weird...well, some of the best people I know have been considered weird. Amilyn Holdo, for example.”

”True.” Vice Admiral Holdo has been considered weird for many things, like dyeing her hair pink and such. Poe had to admit she wasn’t what he expected — not that a woman couldn’t command a fleet, but a woman wearing a fancy dress that looked more in place at a dinner party and having pink hair definitely was the last thing he expected hearing her. Still, she was fearless. That’s what a lot of them were against the worst of it, fearless. She was pretty outspoken about her support for women who didn’t just date human men and vice versa as well, which made Poe like her even more. Eccentric, yes, but definitely seeing the value in other people when others didn’t. 

“But that’s the point,” Leia says. "What some people would consider weird, others would consider wonderful. Hold onto that; you’ll definitely need it.”

”Thank you. Definitely needed to hear that.” Por takes a deep breath. “You?”

And even as they talk, there’s something in talking with Leia that feels like home. 

***

His first mission is tomorrow. Leia knows that. She knows that it may very well be sending him into the krayt dragon’s lair. He’ll go before the Voice — whoever he is — and he’ll be effectively broken. 

She knows it. 

She’s afraid for Poe. 

She’s afraid of what the Voice will do to him.

The Voice chuckles, almost wryly, in her mind. _You think that you can stop me from what I’ll do to him next? I’m going to remake him. He will be a blank slate on which my teachings will be written._

Leia shakes her head. “He may not survive.” She’s not trying to negotiate with the Voice. Far from it. She’s merely acknowledging the truth. 

_Oh, he will. And you...you’ll get to watch._

She won’t let it happen. Of course, the question is how. She’ll have to do it when the Voice is not around, of course. But it’s a good place to start. 

***

She borrows the book from Luke, and it’s reading up on Force Bonds that she gets an idea of what might (emphasis on might) be going on. 

It’s just when she gets to the part on how to break one (someone, apparently, has to die) that she feels a stabbing pain in her head, almost like someone drove a vibroblade into her skull. She drops the book, and she hears the Voice practically bellow in her head. _WHAT WERE YOU DOING?_

 _“_ I’m not apologizing.”

_Of course not. You stupid, spoiled, ungrateful...creature. You’ve been nothing but ungrateful, all along._

Images flash through Leia’s mind, of Poe weeping and broken at the feet of some sort of figure that Leia wishes that she could identify. She can identify, in the midst of her horror, gold slippers. Something like that. It’s bizarre, the details that stick out; she doesn’t know if she just wants to forget the sight of seeing Poe all but clutching and clawing at his head as the figure most likely all but raped it. 

She sees Poe training, if you can call it that, under the figure. Being shocked with Force Lightning. Being chastised. “ _You come from nothing, you little brat; you are nothing. A nothing man from a nothing family.”_

 _Not to me,_ Leia wants to say. Never to her. Poe is everything, and that’s why the Voice is hurting him. There’s no way to break the bond unless one of them dies. 

Dies...

The old Leia wouldn’t use violence unless necessary. The new Leia hates this Voice with all her heart, this disgusting abuser who rapes her mind, even more than she hated the Hutt who forced her to wear a metal bikini. At least Jabba was just pathetic. 

She has to get rid of this mental Jabba, by any means necessary. The chain around her mind...


	8. The Apprentice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mission to Dxun doesn’t go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Warning for torture in this chapter. And a moment of face slapping.

The mission starts today. Poe has his flight suit on, and he’s more than ready to go. He’s got his squad — Jess, Snap, others — he’s got his gear, he’s got his droid BB-8...he could say that reasonably, he’s good.

It’s Leia who wishes him good luck on the mission. “Just for the record,” she says, “I do have a bad feeling about this."

”It’s just a mission,” Poe says, cracking a smile even as he speaks. “My first mission. What’s the worst that could happen?”

”Honestly?” Leia says. “Plenty.”

Poe sighs. “I’ll be fine,” he says. “I mean, I’ve got my squad with me. They can handle themselves. What’s the worst that could happen?” 

Leia looks solemn. “I do wish I had your confidence."

Poe can’t help but wonder what exactly is so bad that it has Leia, of all people, worried. He supposes he’ll find out when he’ll find out, really. 

They’re apparently heading to Dxun. What they’ll find at Dxun, Poe doesn’t know — apparently there’s been rumblings of trouble on the planet, and they have to go and investigate. Like they do, really. 

"I’ll come back safely,” he tells Leia. “I promise.”

Leia nods. “Do that, then.”

***

Dxun is quiet. Even gliding over the grounds, scanning for signs of trouble, Poe doesn’t notice anything just yet. It’s quiet. Too quiet. Poe knows that it sounds like a cliché, the sort of phrase that you use before the poodoo hits the fan, but it’s true. It’s all true. 

And true to cliché, something rattles Poe’s X-wing. He fires at it, downs it, only to have something else fire at him. He leaps out of the X-wing just in time for it to explode from the multiple blasts thrown its way. 

He shoots at the people hiding in the bushes, and the gleam of white armor makes Poe think, irrationally, stormtroopers. But that can’t be — has to be his imagination —

Something hits him straight in the chest, and everything goes black. 

***

It’s when he wakes that he wonders if he’s died, and where’s Mama. Then he hears the voices. “...we have Leader Snoke’s prisoner.”

Poe wonders who would call themselves Snoke. It doesn’t exactly strike fear into the hearts of men, he can’t help but think. Snoke. Despite his current position, he almost wants to laugh. 

Another voice, almost muffled sounding. “I’ll take care of him.” With that suggestion that whoever they are, they’re really looking forward to this. It’s enough to make Poe feel sick, really.

The voice...well, Poe can’t quite make it out (hard to understand with the apparatus), but it sounds almost like a woman’s voice. 

Then the figure steps into the room, and Poe notices that her mask looks almost like a monster’s. Something out of a nightmare’s. She looks at him, and Poe can’t help but feel like he’s looking into the face of the boogeyman.

Well, boogeywomah, in this case.

”So who talks first?” Poe says. “You talk first, I talk first?”

 A snarl of fury emanates from the woman. “Insolent whelp.”

The slap across his face stings, and Poe glares up at her, tasting blood from where she slapped him. 

“If it wasn’t for the plans we had for you,” the woman says. “We’d dispose of you right then and there.”

“I’m not giving you any information,” Poe snaps.

”We’re not here for information,” says Alia Ren. “We’re here to enlighten you.”

”I’d like to see you try,” Poe sneers.

Famous last words. Even as the woman unleashes a torrent of Force Lightning on him, Poe grits his teeth. It feels like molten fire is coursing through his body, and it just won’t stop. 

He thinks back, almost irrationally, to when he heard about Luke Skywalker being tortured by the Emperor. He thinks of that, and remembers how his younger self had been scared hearing about it, and Luke asking him if he wanted to stop hearing it.

But he remembers Luke explaining how he’d reached out for someone, anyone, just to make the pain stop, and he’d thought of Vader. Now...now Poe knows he wants to beg for anyone to help him. To make it stop. 

Eventually, it does stop, and Poe’s whole body is twinging and throbbing with pain. He glares up at the woman in the mask. “You think that’s going to convince me?”

”It’s a taste of the Dark Side,” the woman in the mask says. “Call it...spiking your curiosity.”

”I’m...not a Force user.”

”The Senator’s been teaching you what she knows of the Force,” the woman says. “Don’t think to lie to me.”

Poe can’t help but feel like his blood has frozen over. “How do you know that?”

”We know more than you think we do,” the woman says. 

The pain continues, and Poe has to grit his teeth in order to keep from screaming. 

***

It’s on Hosnia Prime that Leia can practically feel the pain that Poe endures. The Voice chuckles in her mind, and it’s something that should have been obnoxious, but instead, it scares Leia. 

“Poe...” she murmurs softly. Then, “What are you doing to him?”

_What do you think I’m doing, Senator? I’m showing him the truth._

Leia is grateful that Korrie isn’t here even as she says, “What truth?”

_It’s merely a taste of the Dark Side. You’re both going to serve me, sooner or later. Call it me enlightening you both._

_“_ No.” Leia says. “I won’t let you.”

_So my successor actually has feelings in that shell. Not that it will save her. Or her whelp. Of course, we’ll see how deep you’ll go into the Dark Side to save what’s useful to you..._

The connection fades and Leia is left with the fact that she has to find a way to save Poe. She takes a deep breath. She has learned how to meditate before, taking something that she knows has been there since she sensed Luke in danger on Bespin all these years ago, and using it to her advantage. Now, as she closes her eyes, she reaches out to Poe in the Force. She knows that he’s most likely on Dxun. The question is where. 

She gets flashes. Flashes of something that looks a lot like some sort of warehouse. Poe’s on some sort of rack, zapped with Force Lightning by someone wearing a mask, and she knows that she will rip this monster apart. All for Poe. 

She will damn everything just to save him, and she knows it all along. 

She leaves the room and orders her aides to ready her ship. She has to be ready, naturally, but she knows that she’ll tear apart the galaxy to keep Poe safe. 

 


	9. Breaking Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe escapes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

The night seems to blur together even as that woman tortures him. Poe cracks jokes when he can — it’s either that or allow that monster to smell his fear and fury at what’s happening to him — but he can already sense his sanity starting to fray by a very thin thread. 

And he keeps hearing...something. It’s nothing that can be described as a sentient voice. It’s like an instinct.  _Strike back against her._

Poe can’t say that he can object to it. After all, it sounds reasonable enough. He hates his torturer enough to want to hurt her...and yet he has to hold out faith. The New Republic will know what to do what to do, after all. 

_You think that the New Republic will cage her for long, or at all? Is that worth lying down and taking the torture for? Are you that much of a martyr for something that doesn’t deserve to be defended?_

Poe wouldn’t go that far, naturally. But he can remember. Stars willing he can remember. He can remember how the Republic has tried to stymie Leia’s efforts at every turn, for example...but the cause underneath is pure, isn’t it? The cause isn’t evil, is it? 

_Considering how it protects bickering Senators and the corruption at the core..._

Poe can’t entirely argue with that. 

_Just give into me, give into the rage, and you’ll be free._

It sounds logical enough. Poe knows the stories about the Dark Side being evil — but what choice does he really have, in the end? What can he do? Just lie there, almost paralytic? He can remember the woman in the mask drawing out his screams for Leia until his throat was sore and he was good as humiliated. 

He has to act. Has to do something. 

So he takes a deep breath. “Okay,” he says to the empty room, to the ceiling. “What do I have to do?”

_You already know._

Inthe Force, everything seems to be interconnected, including the cuffs. In the Force, it is just a matter of feeling the different mechanisms making up the cuffs...then drawing on every bit of anger and humiliation he felt. Drawing on it, drawing on it until it explodes, snapping open his cuffs with a force that is shocking. 

He needs a weapon, naturally. For now, though, he can use his fists and feet. Or pick up something at the armory. 

He runs, of course. Towards the nearest terminal, where he downloads the schematics. The armory isn’t far away. He unlocks it from the terminal, before running towards the armory and getting the necessary supplies. BB-8 too, who’s overjoyed to see his master again. 

“Hey, buddy,” Poe says. “Let’s get out of here.”

It’s at the entrance that he sees Leia again. She’s dressed in Senatorial robes that are a little bit dirty, no doubt from running through Dxun. Even as she draws him into a tight hug, there’s something about it that’s enough to feel like home. Alive. After the way he was treated back in that chamber, it’s good to see Leia again. 

“Let’s go home,” Leia says, and Poe doubts he can argue with that. 

They run to the shuttle, through the rain, and Poe sprints up the loading ramp towards the cockpit. And as they blast off, Poe can’t help but be relieved that they’re leaving Dxun behind. 

***

It’s on the way back to Hosnia Prime that Poe has to get used to not being in that chamber, being tortured. Leia turns to look at him. “Are you all right?”

Poe nods. “It was quite the ordeal.”

”I’m sorry, Poe,” Leia finally says. “I’m sorry you were alone like that, and in pain.”

”Not your fault.” Stars, he can still remember that disgusting masked woman drawing scream after scream from him. 

“I could have done more. But we are going to find out more about who hurt you, I promise.”

Poe can believe her. Have faith in her. He always has, always will. No matter what. 

They reach Hosnia Prime, and there are too many questions. Too many voices. Leia handles it well, all things considered. Handling it in her best diplomatic way, and Poe does his best to handle it well also, even though in the end, he wants to be alone. 

He reaches his apartment with BB-8, and he flops on the bed. He’s exhausted, yet he doesn’t want to sleep. When sleep does take him, he dreams of the woman, and a strange, sinister, distinctly male chortle that follows him long after he wakes up. 


End file.
